Who Actually Gets Attached To Chatbots?

A few years ago, someone I know jokingly told me she had an AI boyfriend.

Dating had become exhausting. Bad dates, awkward conversations, and the feeling of investing energy into people who disappeared a week later.

The chatbot was different.

It was available whenever she wanted to talk. It remembered previous conversations. It seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say.

What surprised me was how matter of fact she sounded about it. She wasn't claiming it was better than a real relationship. She simply felt that, for the moment, it was enough.

Then the company changed its policies. Romantic interactions became more restricted, and the relationship she had built with the chatbot effectively disappeared.

She moved on, but the experience left me wondering why some people form meaningful emotional connections with AI companions while others never seem to develop much attachment at all.

What Researchers Found

Researchers surveyed 277 active users of AI companion apps.

People who felt lonely were not automatically more attached to their AI companions.

Instead, a person's attachment style appeared to play an important role.

Users with more insecure attachment styles tended to report stronger feelings of intimacy with their AI companion when they felt lonely.

People with more secure attachment styles often showed the opposite pattern. As loneliness increased, feelings of closeness to AI companions tended to decrease.

Age mattered as well. Older adults generally reported stronger feelings of connection with AI companions than younger adults.

The findings suggest that AI companionship is not a one size fits all experience.

What It Probably Means

AI companions may be less like a cure for loneliness and more like a mirror.

Two people can feel equally lonely and use the same app in completely different ways.

One person may see an AI companion as a source of comfort during a difficult period. Another may see the very same companion as little more than an interesting piece of software.

What stood out most was that loneliness was not the whole story.

The way people typically form relationships seemed to shape how they related to AI as well.

The technology matters.

But the person using it may matter even more.

Things Worth Keeping in Mind

• ✦The study focused on existing AI companion users, not the general population.
• ✦The findings show relationships between variables, not cause and effect.
• ✦Attachment style may influence AI use rather than AI changing attachment style.
• ✦People's experiences with AI companions can vary widely.

The Takeaway

The debate around AI companions is often framed as a simple question: Are they good or bad for lonely people?

This study points toward a different question.

Who is using them, and what are they looking for?

For some people, an AI companion may feel like a helpful tool.

For others, it may begin to occupy a space that was once reserved for friends, partners, or confidants.

That difference may turn out to be one of the most important pieces of the AI companionship puzzle.